So begins my usual rant about the how scary/terrifying/awesome it is to shoot and develop a roll of film. And all of these emotions are very real during this process and not an exaggeration at all (for the most part). I definitely am sitting around for days waiting anxiously for the roll to be developed hoping that I didn’t mess something up. So what causes this storm of emotions besides the usual feelings of working on something without knowing the full outcome.
I think the anxiety comes from expectation. I expect the images to all turn out. I expect the images to look like they do on Instagram. I am so tempted at the end of the film process to color correct the images because I don’t trust the process to create something beautiful, to not let the film be imperfect, to not meet my expectations. But this need for control can lead to a lot of disappointment because sometimes it is out of my reach. And often the lack of control is a good thing, because I am pleasantly surprised with the results. What if I didn’t have expectations? Not that I didn’t work with goals in mind or with a set processes, but that I am content with the work that is produced, flaws and all. This is something I want to be better at, leaving expectations at the door and letting the process inform the creative work.
Enjoy these lovely film images shot on Kodak Ultramax. Naomi was a lovely model as we explored the Brooklyn Botanical Garden, a place I hope to return to soon.